


Darling I’m Dying (Don’t Worry I’ll Be Fine)

by Kosaji



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Blood and Injury, Gen, Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosaji/pseuds/Kosaji
Summary: Seriously, why does every person who sees him cough up a flower look at him like he’s going to die?An AU where Gokudera develops Hanahaki Syndrome, like his life isn't dramatic enough without a garden in his lungs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing KHR fanfiction, let me know if you like it!
> 
> Content Warning: Hanahaki Syndrome, graphic depictions of injuries, mentioned child abuse, swearing
> 
> (Don’t worry no one dies)

Hayato is six years old when he first feels the tickle in his throat.

Well, ok, he’s more upset over his mother slapping him when he asks what his father’s favorite piano piece is. She apologizes without the apology, something he recognizes when he’s older, but at six he accepts it, and the stiff hug that leaves him feeling colder than usual.

The tickling feeling comes later, when the maids get ice for his cheek and no one comments on the redness of his skin during dinner.

His tutors dismiss it as cold, and he’s given warm milk with honey by his sister. His mother still ignores him, even when a month passes and he still feels the itch. His father is no help, he’s just kept indoors and plied with foul medicine until Hayato has enough and declares that he feels better.

He learns to ignore the tickle, to hide the coughs and wheezes. He’s a big boy, just like his father said.

 

-

 

He’s eight when he finds out the truth about his mother, his real mother and not the cold woman who only touches him for appearances sake but dotes on Bianchi.

The tickle in his throat grows stronger as he sleeps on the streets, desperately trying to survive. To find a Family to take a chance on him.

Shamal finds him when the tickle grows to a quiet cough, purple and white petals falling into his hand.

A daisy and an anemone.

 

[Daisy - Family]

[Anemone - Forsaken]

 

-

 

He’s on Shamal’s couch before he knows it, a tongue depressor pressing his mouth open as the doctor looks for signs of flowers climbing up his throat.

“Look kid, I don’t know what to tell you, Hanahaki is not even close to my specialty.” Shamal looks down at Hayato, hand rubbing the back of his head. “Hell you shouldn’t even have it, you’re too young.”

“My throat’s been itching for two years now,” Hayato informs Shamal, crossing his arms across him chest and jutting his chin out aggressively when Shamal curses. “I’m fine, its just a few flowers.”

At that Shamal’s eyes tighten and he disappears into his room. Hayato watches curiously, arms unfolding as Shamal returns and drops a thick book in his hands.

“Read that you little shit, Hanahaki isn’t just a cough. It will kill you if you don’t fix it,” Shamal glares. Cowed by the anger from his usually laid-back doctor Hayato opens the medical book and reads the pages for Hanahaki disease. It’s a good thing his reading level is high, because the book is complicated and it takes Hayato several minutes to understand what he’s reading. When he does his face pales and he looks up to Shamal’s grim expression.

“Understand now?” Hayato nods.

“Good, lets go.” Shamal turns away, grabbing his coat.

“Wait, where are you going?” Hayato demands, jumping up only to fall into a coughing fit, this one stronger as five petals land on his hand.

“The clinic. I don’t have what I need here to run a full physical and I’m guessing you aren’t heading back to your family?” Shamal turns to Hayato.

“They aren’t my family anymore. I’m not going back.”

“Then we need to get to the clinic. Move it, kid.”

 

-

 

Shamal not only finds flowers in his lungs, but Flames too. A pill is shoved down Hayato’s throat and he lights up multicolored, much to Shamal’s disbelief.

“Five Flames,” Shamal’s hands twitch towards the pocket with his cigarettes. “Kid you’re going to be the death of me.”

And so Hayato learns about Flames, and how to use his Storm flames to disintegrate the flowers while using Rain flames kept them from growing. Shamal has to push Hayato to get the Sun flames to appear, healing the damage. He’s told off whenever he tries to use Cloud flames, in case it made the disease worse and the Lightning flames are almost useless to Hayato, till Shamal manages to help him get a few jobs, just enough to establish himself.

He ends up moving out of Shamal’s apartment-it isn’t like Shamal stays there long, just enough to bring some girls home or more rarely to check up on Hayato.

He makes a name for himself as the Smoking Bomb, getting by with a tickle that appears in his throat until he ruthlessly crushes it with his flames.

Then he gets a call from Reborn.

 

-

 

Sawada Tsunayoshi is small, fluffy, and utterly weak.

Hayato glares from his seat, watching the Vongola candidate with disgust. This is what he was supposed to be testing? Even when he was new on the streets he had more guts than the kid who mangles his English and can’t solve simple mathematics.

Hell, at this point even Hayato was more qualified to be the Vongola heir, even if they would never take him. It wasn’t fair, just because Sawada has the blood he is able to get acceptance into the largest criminal syndicate with all the perks while Hayato spent years working his ass off only to be rejected again and again, only good to be used but not kept.

It infuriates him.

This afternoon, he decides, fingering the stick of dynamite hidden under his sleeve. He’ll test the snot-nosed heir. Then he’ll head back home.

And if the little heir was put in the hospital afterwards then it’s Reborn and the Vongola’s problem, not his.

(He ignores the shudder in his lungs, taking deep breaths until he’s under control)

 

-

 

A coughing fit makes him drop his dynamite when the little brat _just won’t quit_ , and he thinks, this is it, and closes his eyes, not even pulling Lightning flames up to try and salvage something from the clusterfuck he got himself into.

He’s wrong, so utterly wrong as he stares at the _stupid/foolish/brave_ boy who saves him from Hayato’s own dynamite, tackling them out of the blast radius.

Hayato declares his allegiance immediately to Tsuna, his chest feeling lighter for the first time in a long while.

The petals that slips out when he’s alone are bright blue and violet, bluebell and iris respectively.

 

[Bluebell - Grateful]

[Iris - Hope, Faith, and Loyalty]

 

-

 

Yamamoto Takeshi is an annoyance that doesn’t realize when he is not wanted.

Hayato glares as Yamamoto swings an arm around Tsuna as they walk to the Sawada house.

No, he doesn’t feel just a bit insecure that Yamamoto can make Tsuna laugh without effort while Tsuna still acts exasperated at him.

And no its not taking more effort to breathe, he’s just imagining things.

 

-

 

They’re in the future and Tsuna is-

No, no, Hayato pulls at his hair, relishing the sharp pain. Tsuna is still alive, he can hear him breathing in the bunk underneath his.

Hayato gets up and leaves the room, wandering down the cold hallway, hand rubbing over his chest idly. He makes it to the kitchen and settles at the table with a glass of water, staring at the wall.

The kitchen is fully stocked with canned goods and the occasional fresh produce. It reminds Hayato of the panic room at the old castle, and he thinks of his sister.

Was Bianchi ok? He knows her capabilities but these were the people who killed-

Shame and despair drag him under as his thoughts circle back to that damn coffin. He fails, he fails to protect his boss, he fails to keep the one person who accepts him, he-

Hayato doesn’t realize he’s stopped breathing until a large hand shoves his head between his knees with a sharp order to breathe.

Hayato takes in a gulp of air and chokes, coughing painfully. The hand moves down his back, easing him thorough the fit.

Hayato gasps, coughing out several white chrysanthemum petals and half a marigold.The hand stops moving and slowly pulls away.

“That’s new.” The words were said idly but Hayato could feel Yamamoto’s eyes burn at the side of his head. “Our Hayato never did that.”

“Yeah?” Hayato asks. “Great, maybe it finally goes the fuck away. Stupid flowers,” he rasps out, Storm flames lighting up around the hand without the Storm ring and sink into his lungs. He switches to Sun once the itching fades, healing the delicate lung tissue and his sore throat.

Yamamoto silently passes his glass over, watching him as he sips away slowly.

“Is it Tsuna?” Typical, even in the future the baseball idiot still couldn’t tell when to shut up.

“I don’t know, it just shows up sometimes. Ever since I was a kid,” Hayato admits, not answering the question. He gets up to rinse the glass and put it back in the cupboard. The petals are thrown into the trash, and Hayato covers them with wadded paper napkins.

“Do the others know?” That godDAMN-

“I’m heading back to bed,” Hayato announces, stalking past Yamamoto, ignoring the worried look on his face.

He has to keep it together, for Tsuna. Until they made it back home he didn’t have time to worry about himself.

 

[White Chrysanthemum - Death and Grief]

[Marigold - Pain and Grief]

 

-

 

Yamamoto is replaced by his fourteen year old self, the girls and the cow are with them, and he gets the dressing down of his life, all on top of almost dying by that bastard Gamma’s wolves.

It just figures they would be saved by Hibari, just to round off the shitty day.

He coughs up a sunny daffodil and crushes it before anyone can see. If his snarls at Yamamoto don’t have as much bite to them recently no one but him (and maybe Tsuna, because Tsuna is amazing like that) can tell.

 

[Daffodil - Respect]

 

-

 

“Uri!” Hayato checks the vents, under the boxes left in the hallways, even the training rooms. “Here kitty!”

Bianchi’s scorpions and his own independent training leave him too tired to do anything but fall asleep at the end of the day, but Uri still hasn’t come back from where ever she wandered off after dinner and he worries for the little kitten. Even if she keeps clawing at him.

He passes by the doorway leading to Hibari’s side of the base and eyes it thoughtfully. Uri keeps trying to sneak over there for some reason, maybe…

“What are you doing?”

“Gyah!” Hayato jumps, turning to face Hibari.

And there’s Uri, riding contently on his shoulder, idly grooming Hibari’s box animal who riding in Hibari’s suit pocket. Hayato fights to keep a straight face as pain shoots through his chest. Why couldn’t she behave like that for him?

“Uri,” Hayato points to his wayward box animal. Uri gives him a derisive glance and resumes licking the hedgehog. “Stop bothering HIbari and come back here!” Uri ignores him and starts purring.

“Tch,” Hayato clicks his tongue, not wanting to go near Hibari, who’s watching him an amused tilt to his lips.

“What’s so funny?” he bristles. So what if his box animal doesn’t listen to him outside of battle?

“Nothing,” Hibari pinches Uri by the scruff of her neck and, ignoring her yowl of protest, hands her over to Hayato.

“…thanks,” Hayato says, taking the kitten. He bites back a shout when Uri bites the skin between his thumb and forefinger, drawing blood with her sharp teeth. “What was that for you little brat?” His Sun flames appear almost instantaneously, healing the damage. Uri watches the yellow flames curiously, licking at them before they disappear.

“Animal boxes mirror their owners,” Hibari comments from where he was leaning against the wall, watching Hayato struggle with Uri. Why is he still here? The younger version likes to ignore everyone unless there’s a fight involved.

“Yeah, Bianchi told me,” he says cautiously when it seems like Hibari was waiting for an answer.

“They also act on any emotions that would normally be suppressed by the human half. Something to think about,” Hibari leans away from the wall, dropping a hand on Hayato’s shoulder briefly on his way by.

Hayato’s mind blanks as the large hand cups his thin shoulder, the warmth lingering as Uri purrs into his chest. He looks down at her, thinking about what she was doing as Hibari’s words filter through his brain.

“…What the hell, no I don’t like you, you contrary bastard!” Hayato turns and shouts, only to see Hibari shut the door, grey eyes bright with mischief. Seriously, what? When did the Demon of Nanimori have a sense of humor?

Later that night when he coughs up a sunflower and another yellow flower he has to look up he screams in denial and burns the petals.

 

[Sunflower - Love and Respect]

[Apricot Blossom - Timid Love]

 

-

 

Ok, so maybe after the Kokyou incident he has a new sense of respect for Hibari.

Platonic respect!

The stubborn boy did help him out, even if he dropped him like a bag of rubbish after doing so but they were even. Hayato can’t begrudge someone not wanting to owe a debt. Debts were dangerous in the Mafia, and Hayato has had the lesson beaten into him more than once.

In the deepest, hidden parts of his soul it stings, just a little bit. Not much, because Hibari didn’t mean anything to Hayato back then, but it reminds him too much of the Families that would hire him and then send him packing the second the job was done.

Wait, Hibari didn’t mean anything to him now, either!

Hayato groans and slams his rings into the boxes. He’s figured the system to opening the Sistema C.A.I boxes, now he just needs practice keeping them open.

The complicated box weapon didn’t stop at just having to find the correct order to open the boxes, they need constant wave energy to flow through the rings, keeping all five Flames lit up and charged. Then in order to use the cartridges he needs to focus on pulling one Flame just enough to release the ammo from the box while keeping the other Flames in balance.

It was tricky, but he is getting the hang of it.

With new resolve he waits in the middle of the training room. He already asked Bianchi to run the room again and paces through the artificial dunes while waiting for the winds to build up.

A pulse runs through the room, and the winds pick up, building just shy of a storm that can strip flesh away from bone. Hayato floods the area with a thin layer of Rain flames, sensing his sister’s scorpions running through the sand through the faint sting of the Storm disintegration property registering against the cool Rain.

“Begin.”

60 seconds.

Hayato dives into a roll avoiding the first scorpion and activates the Sistema C.A.I.

Black bones fly out to form circles mid-air, blocking the next three scorpions.

55 seconds.

Hayato pulls the Cloud cartridge out, loads and fires, the blast fanning out and taking out five scorpions. The contact lenses track three more incoming and he pulls out a lightning cartridge.

48 seconds.

The first blast misses, but stuns the scorpions enough for him to reload and fire again.

30 seconds.

A blast shoots him in the back, caught by the Bone Loops and he activates the Storm Disc to avoid a scorpion jumping at him from underground. He shoots that one with a pure Storm flames, riding the explosion on the disc.

18 seconds.

He tosses a Rain cartridge out and shoots it, fanning out more Rain flames to slow down the scorpions. The lenses pick up movement and the Sun cartridge is in his hands, the motion of pull, load and fire smooth and efficient as multiple shots fire out, irregularly accelerating to take out three more scorpions.

9 seconds.

The wind speed increases, and Hayato pulls on goggles as the Bone Loops tighten, blocking the sand from reaching him. He still feels seven more scorpions out there and pulls the Cloud cartridge again.

8 seconds.

Purple flames wrapped tightly around red split, bursting through the wind and exploding, the explosive pressure acting against the simulated winds. It’s enough time for him to load and fire the Sun cartridge to take out two scorpions as Bianchi calls time.

“14 scorpions in one minute,” she announces through the speaker system. “Not bad, but still not enough. Again.”

“Well, screw you too,” Hayato mutters, shaking the sand off his clothes.

“What was that Hayato?” Bianchi asks sweetly, in the way cookies were sweet to mask the poison inside them. Hayato blanches but refuses to give in, sending a glare to the observation deck.

“Remember, you need to finish the training to my satisfaction before I tell you what you want to know,” Bianchi says, before the winds pick up again, cutting his sight off.

Hayato scowls. He didn’t want anything from that old man. Pain spasms through his chest and he burns through the flowers before they can bloom. Coughing them up once last week after Bianchi started that bullshit about hating her for being their father’s legitimate daughter was enough.

Orange lilly, lotus and a damn dogwood branch. Even the damn flowers can’t make up their mind.

He shuts all thoughts of flowers out of him mind and raises his canon at the approaching scorpions.

 

[Orange Lilly - Hatred]  
[Lotus - Estranged Love]  
[Dogwood - Love Undiminished by Adversity]

 

-

They raid the Millefiore only to find out that everything was according to the Tsuna- no, the future Tsuna’s plans.

When he realizes just what the future Tsuna did, that he planned for his death, that he pulled his younger self and the rest of the Guardians to this future to fight a madman who literally destroys worlds- Hayato has to excuse himself before he vomits flowers in front of everyone.

Safe in his room he kneels at the foot of the bed, leaning over the wastebasket. The coughing fit is the worst one he’s had, white catchflys and bundles of hydrangeas scratching his throat on their way out.

He must have been too loud, or maybe it’s his shitty luck because his door opens just as he spits another bundle of purple, pink and blue blossoms out.

Harsh gasps echo in the room for a solid minute and Hayato stares firmly at the bloodstained flowers, hoping that who ever it was would just go away.

“Herbivore.”

Yeah, he is never that lucky. Hayato closes his eyes, wiping his hand across mouth before turning to face Hibari.

Seriously, why does everyone who sees him cough up a flower look at him like he’s going to die? Hayato ties the bag, getting up to toss it into the incinerator, ignoring the piercing look Hibari shoots him as he stumbles to his feet.This is why he doesn’t tell anyone.

A tonfa blocks him way, kindly not crushing his stomach, instead just barely resting against it. “Do not ignore me. Why do you display the symptoms of Hanahaki?”

Pushy bastard, Hayato thinks. Well, screw it, its not like his day will get any better. “I’ve had it for a while now. It’s being handled, so move.” He shoves the tonfa down, and when that doesn’t earn him a smack to the head or gut, heads down the hallway.

Footsteps follow just a heartbeat after, and Hayato sighs.

“Don’t you have training to do?” he demands, tossing his bag down the shoot, relaxing as all the evidence disappears.

Hibari watches him, still silent as they walk back to Hayato’s room.

“The prancing horse let me go to learn how to ride a motorcycle.” The dismissive look on Hibari’s face makes it clear to what he thought of that. “He didn’t believe me when I said I already knew how.”

“Wait, you know how to ride a motorcycle?” Hayato asks, stopping in front of his door. He thinks of Hibari on a bike, and wow, ok, yeah he can kind of see it.

“The bikes Giannini made aren’t like regular bikes, though. Might be hard to handle if you don’t put in some practice,” Hayato points out, watching Hibari’s face change from impassive to affronted to considering in the span of a few seconds. He watches as, without a word, Hibari turns away, heading down the hallway to the training rooms. Hayato tries not to let victory show on his face when Hibari pauses halfway down the hall and looks backwards with a flat look and nod towards the elevators. Not even a second later Hayato’s down the hall, a giddy feeling burning in his stomach as he leads Hibari to the tracks they were using to practice.

He does not think Hibari would look hot on a motorcycle, ok!

 

[White Catchfly - Betrayal]  
[Hydrangea - Arrogance, Betrayal, Ruthlessness]

 

-

 

The days pass until the Choice game, and Hayato puts every effort into improving his skills, pushing the upgraded Sistema C.A.I to its limits. His new Vongola box is an Update box, combining with his old Sistema C.A.I for a complete overhaul in power. He needs to get used to the higher fighting power and using Uri’s new form.

It is the same as before when they were training to attack Millefiore.

Get up, eat, train in the Storm room, take a break to cough out any flowers, eat lunch, look for Uri, train independently, look for Uri after dinner, bathe, then do some reading before bed.

One thing that does change is-

“This belongs to you.” Hibari brandishes Uri in Hayato’s face, making him jump with a squawk. He ends up on his back, the tablet knocked away while the piles of notes he has around him mix together as Uri claws his face.

When he looks back up Hibari is gone. Again.

Hayato lets out a breath and sets about gathering his notes back up, before Uri makes an even bigger mess of them. He has most of the pile in their own stacks when he gets pulled into a page of notes, idly grabbing at reference books and spare paper to jot down his ideas.

“Propulsion and aerodynamics?”

“Gah!” Hayato jumps again. He glares up at Hibari, who has one of the stacks in hand, flipping through it idly.

“That’s private research,” he grinds out through his teeth, joints popping as he gets off the ground to stalk over to Hibari. A glance at the first page shows the notes he took on better ways to utilize Flames with the Storm Disc, basic theories on how to increase the speed and hover ability issues he noted during the fight with Gamma.

Hibari hums and sets the packet on the table. Sharp eyes give Hayato a once over, eyes settling on his hips where the Vongola Box hung and two tonfas appear on his hands.

“For the crime of being late, I will-”

Hayato ducks under the first strike and hops on the Storm Disc, flying away from Hibari and out the door.

This is the major change from his daily life. Every evening, without fail Hibari returns from his training sessions with Dino to spar with him until he can’t move or Hibari is satisfied.  
It’s more the former than the latter, he hates to admit, though Hibari does see him off to the baths and make sure any injuries Hayato’s flames can’t take care of are treated.

It must be a bad day because Hibari doesn’t hesitate to leap after him. Usually if he has to collect Hayato from the reference library he would at least wait till they were in a training room before attacking.

Sun and Cloud flames wrap around his Storm flames to push the Disc faster, the wind blowing his hair back as Hayato lets out a whoop of delight. He kneels for better balance and control and twists, shoulder almost horizontal to the floor to make a sharp turn down the stairs instead of getting trapped in the elevator, Hibari right on his tail.

Hayato flattens himself down and grins as, instead of flying over the stairs he flies through the empty space between the stairway. It is too narrow for someone, say Hibari, to hop down safely but for Hayato? It was only a matter of control and flexibility.

He chances a quick glance back and laughs at the disgruntled face Hibari openly wears as he leaps down the stairs.

“Shit-!” Hayato twists the disc into a barrel roll to avoid a tonfa, Hibari taking advantage of his distraction as Hayato stops to open the door to their usual training rooms. He’s through the doors the minute their open, flying up to avoid an attack from Roll as the hedgehog shoots past him and into the wall. He pulls up next to the crater left in the wall as Roll stumbles away on unsteady feet.

It’s almost second nature to scoop up the box animal, avoiding Roll’s quills the same way he avoids Uri’s claws.

He only realizes that he’s practically cuddling Roll, tickling the hedgehog’s belly when Hibari bursts in with a snarl. A fierce aura surrounds Hibari when he catches sight of them, Hayato sitting cross-legged on the Storm Disc with Roll squeaking happily away in his lap. They stare at each other, a frozen tableu that Hibari breaks, leaping at Hayato tonfa first.

Blasting upwards doesn’t help when Hibari changes course and jumps off the wall towards them, forcing Hayato to flying to a loop. Roll curls into a ball but the spikes don’t pierce Hayato so all he does is tuck the hedgehog into the crook of his arm and drop him off the to side as he makes a circuit around the room.  
He jumps off the Disc, the Flame Arrow on his wrist as Hibari clashes against him.  
Whatever got Hibari in a snit, Hayato hopes dies in a fire as he ducks underneath a strike to his chin but takes a blow to the side of his ribs instead. He scrambles back, pulling out his mini dynamite but is forced to dodge to the side, Hibari not letting up on his assault.

Another swipe knocks the dynamite out of his hands and a kick to his stomach sends him flying backwards. He lands hard on his back and only years spent on the streets keep him moving, dodging the foot aiming for his chest, curling it around instead to plant a mini bomb.

Rolling to the side Hayato pulls another set of bombs, lighting and throwing them as Hibari deals with the bomb on his leg. The new bombs don’t even get a chance to go off, the leads cut with a swipe of the tonfas and Hibari is on him again.

Hayato despairs at the difference in strength between them. He is a mid-range fighter, likes to calculate and plan out his moves in advance in order to win at all costs. Hibari though is all fine honed instinct, quick to find weaknesses and relentlessly exploit them. It makes him a master at close quarters combat, a fact that puts Hayato at an extreme disadvantage - he can’t get room to attack much less pull out the Sistema C.A.I Flame tubes.

The spar is over before Hayato can get his bearings. He blocks the blow to his kidneys to throw a punch to Hibari’s face but takes a final blow to his head. He goes down with a grunt of pain, automatically curling up in case Hibari felt sadistic.

(He wouldn’t, Hayato knows, it’s not his style. But old habits, especially ones formed to survive, die hard).

The world swims back to focus, and Hayato can only stare blankly at Hibari’s black shoes as he catalogs the pain running through his body.

“You are weak.” The words are said dispassionately. The sky is blue, water is wet, Gokudera Hayato is weak.

Anger sparks into an inferno and Hayato bares his teeth up at Hibari, who watches with uncaring eyes.

“What was that, bastard?” Hayato pushes himself off the ground to stand face to face with Hibari. “You got something to say?”

“I already did,” Hibari says, crossing his arms, tonfa out of sight. “I won’t repeat myself.

"Bastard!” Hayato has Hibari’s shirt in his fist before the world spins again and he’s on his knees, arm twisted painfully up his back.

“You are too soft, you leave openings for anyone to attack,” Hibari leans his weight on Hayato, increasing the pressure on his arm. “You cannot protect yourself, much less anyone else and I have no intention of herding with the weak.”

With those parting words Hibari releases his arm and turns to the door. Hayato can hear the footsteps grow fainter as he tries to make sense of what just happened.

Maybe it was the head injury, or the ache in his arm on top of the bruises already forming on his body that makes him think nonsense. Honestly, thinking that he and Hibari were maybe friends.

Well, he definitely knows better now.

“Roll, come here.” Hayato hears Hibari say. “Roll.”

Instead of scampering toward Hibari like he usually does, Roll toddles to where Hayato kneels, massaging the ache out of his arm. Roll puts one paw on Hayato’s knee and stares up at him with a questioning noise.

The first cough is silent, a slight jerk of his chest as Roll ignores his owner to keep snuffling at him, both paws now on his knees to push the little body up to try and catch Hayato’s eye.

The second cough is clearly audible, even halfway across the room as Hibari’s footsteps stop.

The third one drops out a flower, and after that Hayato can’t stop, can’t use his head, can’t breathe-!

Striped yellow then purple carnations, whole flowers- he’s stopped spitting out petals weeks ago- litter the floor around him. He hears Roll’s panicked cries and footsteps approach but ignores everything except getting the yellow chrysanthemums and blue periwinkle covered by the yellow strands of dodder out. The weed is the worst part, it's long, thin strands trail from each flower and linger in his throat, forcing him to drag them out by hand.

Storm flames, he needs his Flames. Hayato tries to call his Flames up but can only get a bare spark before it snuffs out. His head still swims from his head injury, making it hard to think much less focus on his Dying Will.

Strong hands pull him up from his position hunched over his knees. His back is straightened, and air filters into his lungs between coughs. Hayato doesn’t know what is going on. Why was he reacting so badly? It’s just Hibari being an ass, nothing new there. 

Hibari, because of course the contrary bastard is the one holding him up, helps pull the dodder all the way out, the strands pulling unpleasantly against his throat, making him gag.

Hayato leans heavily against Hibari as the fit winds down, catching his breath. A look to the side shows Hibari contemplating his spit covered fingers before wiping them on Hayato’s shirt.

“Oi,” Hayato barely has the strength to crawl, much less yell at Hibari. He’s going to take his best shot anyways.

“Kyouya!” Hayato jumps in surprise, and Hibari gets a faintly aggrieved look as Dino Cavallone bursts into the room, Romario trailing after him. “I got your call, what’s the emergency?”

Hayato looks at Hibari, who looks anywhere but at him. Hibari called Dino? Because of his coughing fit?

“Ah…” Hayato flicks his eyes over to Dino, who’s looking at the spit covered flowers littering the floor, over to Hayato slumped against Hibari and back again. “Is that, Hanahaki?”

Hayato chokes another dodder covered flower out with a glare.

“Okay,” Dino says faintly. He motions to Romario, who kneels next to Hayato with a hand outstretched.

“I’m just going to heal you,” Romario says, catching Hayato’s suspicious glance. Sun flames light up his hands as he presses one to Hayato’s chest and the other to his forehead.

The relief is dizzying as first the head wound heals, easing the throbbing in his head and letting him pull on his own Flames to help with the damage done to his lungs and throat.

“Not that it’s any of my business but,” Dino crouches down a little ways from them, outside Hibari’s reach, Hayato is amused to notice. The Bucking Horse is still in his pajamas, looking like he only grabbed his coat and weapons before running out the door. Just what did Hibari say to get them here so fast? “Is it Tsuna?”

Beside him Hibari tenses and Hayato catches him glaring at Dino, who’s smile slips just a bit. What was that about, Hayato thinks, then Dino’s question registers and he scowls. “Why does everyone think it’s Tenth?” He demands, ignoring the placating hands Dino has up. “It’s been like this since I was a kid.”

“What.” Dino stares at him wide-eyed, even Romario looses his professional demeanor at that revelation.

Hayato squirms under the scrutiny, but Hibari’s arm is a steel band over his shoulders, keeping him steady so Romario’s Flames can do their job.

“Sometimes I cough up flowers when I’m stressed, you need to ask Shamal for the details.”

There’s a strange awkward silence as Dino and Romaio share a look that has Hayato’s hackles rising.

“What?” he demands, not liking frown on Dino’s face.

Dino sighs, pushing the breath out his nose as one hand runs over the back of his head. “Trident Shamal was listed as missing in action several weeks ago. We just got confirmation that he was taken out last week by the Millefiore.”

No.

“Gokudera-kun!” Romario is the first to notice something is wrong when, instead of activating Hayato’s lungs cells, his Flames help boost the flowers taking root, speeding up the blooming process.

Hayato doubles over, ignoring the cries of alarm around him. Black roses with large thorns scratch open his throat and lips on their way out, alongside the thick leaves of aloe scratching his tongue to hell and back.

He can’t breathe again, his throat on fire with every swallow and everything tastes like blood - copper and salt and bitterness from the flowers. He realizes he’s crying, tears falling alongside blood streaked flowers.

Fuck that bastard. He’s always the one going on about independence, why is he dead? Those hands are back on his shoulders, pulling him up and sideways against a steady chest. They trace over his shoulders and down his arms to grip his wrists, thumbs running over the pulse point, bringing him back to focus in a way the frantic words and shouting doesn’t.

The next rose claws up his airway and Hayato lights up the Vongola ring, pressing the Flames into himself.  
Romario makes a startled protest. “Wait, Flames of that purity will burn your lungs too-!”

“Shut up,” Hayato gurgles, turning to the side to spit blood. His Flames burn away any trace of flora, anything that didn’t belong with prejudice. If he looses some lung tissue he does not give a flying crap. His breathing becomes labored when all traces of plant life are gone and he switches from Storm to Sun, mixing in Cloud flames not to boost to healing factor but to propagate the living cells.

He finishes healing his lungs and moves up to his throat and mouth. Sun and Cloud are a good combination, Hayato makes a mental note to study their effects on healing - he doesn’t want to survive only to find out he gave himself cancer.

It takes looking back up at the pale faces of Romario and Dino to bring back why he made a fresh mess of flowers on the floor. Rain flames light up before the grief can pull him in again, crawling up from the skull ring to wrap around him in a wash of blue light. He saturates himself with them before facing Dino through a syrupy haze.

“That does not look healthy.” Hayato can’t tell if he means the flowers or the way his body feels heavy. The only thing keeping him upright is Hibari’s arm around his stomach.

“It’s not,” Hayato admits. He winces when the hands around him tighten at the out of character confession and pokes at them. “Mind letting me go? I need to get to bed, its going to be a long day tomorrow.” And Shamal is -

No. Hayato ups the Rain flames again. He’s honestly surprised that he isn’t dripping wet, he once saw someone’s Flames eat through their clothes before when he was younger.

Hibari just tightens his grip, and when Hayato turns his head up Hibari’s face is strange. A heavy frown makes his face extra forbidding and his eyes are cold, colder than usual.

“What’s your problem?” Hayato asks. Shouldn’t the Rain flames be affecting Hibari, too? Ah, never mind. Hayato thinks as a closer look at Hibari’s arm shows a subtle coat of Cloud flames keep the Rain from affecting him.

“Maybe let Romario finish looking at your injuries, first?” DIno says it like he’s asking but Hayato’s been around enough bosses to know an order when he hears one. He thinks about fighting it, about just getting up and leaving.

Dino must have caught his intentions because the next words out of his mouth are, “If not Romario, we can always get Sasagawa Ryouhei, or your sister to treat you.”

Asshole. Fine. Hayato slumps back fully against Hibari, letting Romario take stock of his injuries.

It wasn’t much, between the previous healing by Romario and his own Flames the only damage left is the bruises and sore muscles from training.

Romario says as much, but takes time to heal the scratches lingering in his mouth and lips. His mouth still tastes like blood, even with the cuts healed and he’s just so, so tired. 

They finally let him go back to his room after that, to his relief. He makes the barest effort to clean up before dropping to bed, asleep before his head meets the pillow.

 

[Yellow Carnation (Striped) - Rejection]  
[Purple Carnation - Capriciousness]  
[Yellow Chrysanthemum - Dejection, Slighted Love]  
[Dodder - Meanness]  
[Blue Periwinkle - Early Friendship]  
[Black Rose - Death]  
[Aloe - Bitterness, Grief]

 

-

  
His break doesn’t last long as Hibari is there waiting for him when he exits the bath the next day. They walk in silence back to his room and when Hibari refuses to move Hayato invites him in with a sigh.

“What do you want?”

Hayato sits on his bed, back to the headboard as he watches Hibari stand in the middle of his room.

“You do not know what causes the symptoms,” Hibari says.

“I told you that a week ago, asshole,” Hayato says, tired. Between the Rain flames he still wears in a thin blanket, the warmth lingering from the bath, and the softness of the sheets he’s on the verge of falling asleep, if only Hibari would just tell him what is going on and leave him alone!

“One of my cousins had Hanahaki,” Hayato jerks. Hibari’s closer, almost level with him, eyes firmly on Hayato as he shares his story. “My mother always believed it to be weakness, to allow oneself to put so much of their health in the hands of another. She made sure my cousin had the surgery when the man she loved did not return her feelings.”

Hayato stares, not really understanding why Hibari is telling him all this.

“When you showed the same symptoms it was disconcerting,” Hibari tenses as he admits that and Hayato straightens. What does that mean-? “You are not weak, not really, yet you put your heart in the hands of others without a thought.”

“I don’t love anyone, though. Not like you cousin did,” Hayato manages to get out, looking at Hibari with wide eyes.

“I know now,” Hibari says simply. There’s something in his eyes, the way he’s looking at Hayato that makes his mind race, the actions of the past week falling into place.

“Wait, was that whole snit you were in because you were jealous?” Hayato demands. Hibari looks away and Hayato’s jaw drops in disbelief. “You were? Of what? And what the hell, since when do you even like me?”

Hibari gives him a peevish look but Hayato ignores it. Hibari likes him. What the fuck? “Cavallone has a big mouth." 

Did Dino say something that made Hibari jealous? So Hibari was actually jealous? Hayato feels his face warm the longer he stares at Hibari and looks away. Holy shit, Hibari likes him.

He peeks up through his bangs to see Hibari watching him with a small smile, just a bit smug and amused as Hayato ducks his head back down, the blush spreading to his ears.

Fingers gently run through his hair, dragging lightly from the top of his scalp to pull it gently behind a bright red ear. Hayato sways into the touch, mind going pleasantly blank as Hibari lets out a soft laugh but keeps petting him.

Hayato’s eyes grow heavy, and he slowly sinks down into bed. The fingers leave his hair and he tracks them to Hibari, who’s leaning over his head with curious expression.

His eyes smile, too, Hayato thinks watching them crinkle at the edges, softening the otherwise blank face. Hibari leaves, saying that Dino is taking him for an extended training trip and that they will talk when they return to their time.

That night Hayato barely remembers coughing up the lilac bunch, but they join the rest of the flowers in the incinerator, Hayato bright red and snapping at anyone on his way there.

[Lilac - First love]

  
-

  
They don’t talk after the trip to the future that never was.

To be fair, Hayato doesn’t seek Hibari out either. Then comes the drama with the Inheritance ceremony and the Shimon family and Daemon Spade. And after that was the Arcobaleno trials and he doesn’t have time to focus on his maybe love life.

Hayato just needs some time to think, before he gets himself into something he isn’t ready for. Novel concept he knows, but the thing hanging between him and Hibari is new and frightening in a way a fight to the death isn’t.

So he tells Hibari that he needs some time to think it over, after the trials and everyone is released from the hospital.

Hibari gives him a long look and nods before turning away, and Hayato breathes a sigh of relief.

Then he squeaks as he’s pushed up against the wall and a soft, chaste kiss brushes against his lips.

 _Something to keep in mind_ , Hibari said with a wicked smile and bright, smug eyes before heading back home, leaving Hayato bright red and gaping on the sidewalk.

That was almost a month ago.

So far he’s kept his condition a secret from the rest of the Family, but all secrets must come to an end. Hayato wishes his didn’t have to come out so dramatically.

"I’m not going to become Decimo Vongola Reborn!” Tsuna cries out, dodging the blows from Reborn’s Ten-Ton hammer. Reborn’s birthday, the day before Tsuna’s is as always a chaotic mess, just as the birthday boy prefers. Dino flies in with his men for the occasion and the party at the Sawada’s home quickly moves to the beachfront.

“Dame-Tsuna always says that but never takes any action,” Reborn says, hopping to the top of the scoreboard he set up for the Vongola-Style Birthday Celebration.

With the curse broken all the Arcobaleno started growing again at an accelerated rate, meaning Reborn now looks the same age as Lambo and I-pin, who run around the beach playing keep away with a watermelon.

Hayato does not want to know.

“Geez!” Tsuna throws his hands up and stalks away, Hayato following without prompting. It’s what a good right-hand man does.

“Tenth! Do you want some barbecue?” Hayato offers out a plate, which the Tsuna accepts with a fixed smile.

“Yamamoto says the fireworks will be ready once it gets dark, so we can head over to the temple once we finish up here,” Hayato continues, listing off the day’s events. The fireworks won’t go off till midnight, just in time for them to pull out the cake meant for Tsuna’s birthday. It will be perfect!

“Hey, Gokudera-kun?” Tsuna has his head down, his bangs covering his eyes. Hayato immediately turns to him, giving his full attention. Whatever he is worried about, it is serious.

“What do you think of the Mafia?”

Huh?

Hayato blinks at Tsuna, confused. “Ah, I… it’s a criminal organization made up of families that control various cities or even parts of the government?”

Tsuna shakes his head, “No, I know that but what do you think of it? Is that really the kind of life you want?” Big brown eyes stare through his soul, completely serious and Hayato sighs and looks for a place to get some privacy.

“Let’s talk over here, Tenth,” Hayato ushers them both closer to the surf, away from the crowd and where the crashing waves will make it harder to hear what they say. Hayato turns to Tsuna, absolutely serious. This isn’t something he wants Tsuna to misunderstand.

“Tenth, I don’t know how to say this but I was born into the mafia. It’s been all I’ve known,” Hayato tries not to feel bad as Tsuna starts to look upset, “I’m not like you or Yamamoto or Lawn-head, I chose this life.”

“But you can choose not to live it, too!” Tsuna says, his plate bending under the pressure of his grip. “You don’t have to be a criminal if you don’t want to.”

“But what else can I be? I don’t want to be anyone other than Tenth’s right-hand man,” Hayato knows its the wrong thing to say as Tsuna’s eyes harden and tries to fix the situation. “I’ve been looking for a family to belong to since I was a kid, Tenth, and you managed to give me that. What more can I want?”

“But, its wrong!” Oh, that hurt. Tsuna catches his flinch and continues hurriedly.

“You shouldn’t live your life for one person, Gokudera-kun, it’s not fair.” Tsuna says earnestly, grabbing Hayato’s hand with his own, the plate of food on the ground. “I’m not going to be Decimo Vongola, I don’t want the job. You can go anywhere, should go anywhere and do what you want to do! You don’t have to stay with the mafia. I definitely don’t.”

Hayato feels the world slip out from under him. He knew, knows, that Tsuna does not want to join the mafia, has said it multiple times no matter who laughs him off. Hayato is content just following him, whether it be to the mafia or through civilian life. But this-

“A-are you saying you don’t want me to part of your Family?” Hayato croaks out. Please, please don’t tell me to go, he begs silently, gripping Tsuna’s hand tightly.

“I don’t want you to be part of any Family if you don’t have to be. I just want you to- Gokudera-kun? Gokudera-kun!”

The petals unfurling in his chest, ever since the two of them started this conversation, surge forward. Hayato doubles over, coughs shaking his body as he tries to cover his mouth, to cover the deep pink flowers slipping through his fingers.

Tsuna’s shouting something in the background but Hayato cannot hear him as deadly nightshade falls from his lips, alongside a large red and white flower he doesn’t recognize. He reaches for his Flames but the Judas tree chooses to crawl up his throat, the branches scraping painfully, with nightshade twisted around it in a mocking embrace.

By the time he has the damn branch out and his Flames burning away the infection there’s a crowd of people surrounding them, watching him with fear and confusion.

“I need to see Shamal,” Hayato croaks out, looking at the flowers in horror. He can hear Yamamoto ask what’s going on but Reborn has Leon in phone form in his hand and that’s all that matters. “I need the cure for belladonna.”

That gets a reaction. Reborn barks orders into the phone while Dino has his men bag the flowers for proper disposal. The kids are kept away, sitting with Haru and Kyouko so that’s one thing he doesn’t have to worry about.

Hayato feels flushed and dizzy, signs that he had ingested the deadly flower while choking it up. He’s taken away from the beach to the back of a car, sandwiched between Yamamoto and Tsuna as Bianchi drives, breaking every speed limit to get to Shamal’s clinic.

“I’m sorry, Tenth,” Hayato slurs, burying his face into someone’s shirt to keep the light out. “I had a plan for your birthday. It was going to be…perfect.”

“That’s ok, Gokudera-kun. Just focus on getting better and we can celebrate later!” Tsuna babbles, clutching one of Hayato’s hands tightly.

“But, it was supposed to be special, since we couldn’t do anything last year,” Hayato mumbles out. “I got the fireworks and everything.”

“Just get better, that’s all I need,” Tsuna insists, and Hayato can imagine the earnest look on his face. Tenth is good like that, always thinking of other people’s needs before his. That’s why he needs a good right-hand man.

Is he still the right-hand man?

“Even if you don’t want me as part of the Family?” The words slip out without any conscious control and the car swerves sharply.

“ _Hieei!_ Bianchi be careful! And Gokudera-kun what do you mean by that?” Tsuna sounds a little mad now, and Hayato peers blearily out from Yamamoto’s shoulder.

“You said I shouldn’t be part of the Family-?” Oh, Tsuna really is mad, the Sky flames are coming out in waves and his eyes take on an orange shine.

“I meant you should have a choice, not just stay with me because you lost a fight to me two years ago!”

Oh. But-

“But you kept telling me to go?” Hayato doesn’t know if he should be bask in the protective rage Tsuna emanates or hide, but he shouldn’t hide from his Sky? He’s so confused.

“I was trying to give you a choice! Even if you wanted to go back to Italy we would still be family.”

Oh. Oops?

“Should have said that first,” Hayato mumbles, “I don’t wanna be sent away, I like it here.”

“Well I like you here, too! Even if you keep giving me heart attacks like this,” Tsuna snaps, eyes staring straight ahead. That’s ok, Hayato can feel the Sky flames curling through air to surround him, singing of home and family.  

He’s going to be ok.

[Judas Tree - Disbelief, Betrayal]  
[Night Shade - Bitter Truth]  
[Mourning Bride - Unfortunate Attachment]


	2. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a real chapter! Just the interlude I wrote that didn't fit in with chapter 2 so it gets its own chapter.

"Childhood Hanahaki?"  
  
Shamal looks at the wide array of impatient faces in his office and sighs. "Yes, he's had it since he was a kid. We've been using Flames to keep the symptoms down and the only time the flowers grow are if he's undergoing extreme emotional distress."  
  
Silence, and then a rising roar of questions flood the room, making his ears ring.  
  
"Quiet! I have a patient resting!" Shamal snaps even as he curses Hayato, who's sleeping off the effects of deadly nightshade poisoning with Sawada's Sun Guardian using his Flames under Reborn's instruction to carefully heal the damage.  
  
"So he doesn't like Tsuna?" Yamamoto asks and gets elbowed in the side by Haru. "Ow!"  
  
"Isn't there a cure?" At least Tsuna has his head on straight.  
  
Shamal looks at the Decimo. "It's not like regular Hanahaki syndrome, where the emotion is unrequited love. From what I gathered Hanahaki appears very rarely in children, and all those cases involve children who come from emotionally neglectful homes," he very carefully does not look at Bianchi, who's sitting by her brother's side radiating killer intent. "There isn't a cure, hell Hayato's the oldest surviving patient with this variant. It's only his Flames that kept him alive so far."  
  
"But, isn't there surgery-?" Haru asks. Shamal doesn't like cutting off cute little girls but this point needs to be made.  
  
"No, the flowers will just grow back again. So even if you get rid of his ridiculous insecurity complex", the kids shift guiltily but Shamal pushes on. Hayato should have told his friends what was going on years ago, and his friends need to be aware of what issues could potentially kill him. "What happens when he feel grief? Happiness? Do you take that away too? Every time he experiences a strong emotion he'll cough up flowers. If we try to remove them all we're going to turn him into a sociopath."  
  
Silence reigns and Shamal busies himself with paperwork, letting the kids absorb all the information.  
  
"But, I don't understand. Gokudera-kun isn't really a calm person. How is he not-"  
  
"Coughing up flowers all the time?" Yamamoto finishes for Kyouko. The rest of the group look curious too and Shamal rubs the nape of his neck, thinking about troublesome teenagers.  
  
"Severe emotions," he repeats for the class. "He can feel happy or sad or whatever but anything that pushes to extreme levels triggers the disease."  
  
"That makes sense, he did cough up all those black roses when he found out you died in the future," Dino comments, and yelps when all attention turns to him.  
  
"Dino-san, you knew about this?" Tsuna looks upset, disappointed brown eyes bearing down on Dino, who looks like he's regretting opening his mouth as the rest of the crowd turns to him.  
  
Shamal feels no shame abandoning him to the sharks, he wasn't touching the topic of his death with a ten foot pole.  
  
Freaky Vongola and their time-bending shenanigans. There's a reason he's an independent contractor.  
  
He turns his back on the kids who are busy grilling Dino to check on Hayato's condition. The antidote was administered the second Bianchi pulled in, the only thing now is to reverse the damage done to his body in the mean time.  
  
He waves a hand to call Sasagawa off, checking in Hayato's condition with his own Flames. The preliminary scans look good, and he looks to the side where Reborn sat next to Bianchi.  
  
"He's good then?" Reborn asks. Bianchi watches him impassively, but he can pick up the tension in her frame, and the way her hands are firmly tucked away, not liable to turn her surroundings into poison. Shamal appreciates it.  
  
"He's going to be fine. Should be waking up soon, too," he pitches his voice so the kids outside can hear him. He gives Reborn and Bianchi a nod before heading out, leaving Hayato to his fate.  
  
Stupid teenagers. There is a reason Shamal never wanted to have kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an overview on what I dub Childhood Hanahaki. 
> 
> I thought that just having 1 variant of Hanahaki is boring because people are different so why would a disease treat them the same way? So Hanahaki variants are born!
> 
> In this one, Childhood Hanahaki stems from a child's unrequited feelings of familial love and stability. Not all abused children develop this just like not all unrequited love results in Hanahaki. But the fact that the disease resulted from familial love and lack of stability makes it expresses itself differently than Hanahaki stemming from romantic love. 
> 
> Its root cause is the uncertainty in the child that results from a lack of stable life. So Hayato, though he is starting to realize he likes Kyouya, will still cough up flowers because deep deep inside his heart there's a little voice asking what if he leaves, what if he decides that I'm not worth it. 
> 
> The uncertainty is the key point. Think of a child whose got parents who go from loving to hurling abuse at them in a snap, that uncertainty colors the child's reaction to anything in their lives, so even positive emotions like friendship or love can be tainted while negative ones reinforce a cycle of destructive thoughts/behaviors. So Shamal is only partially correct when he says its extreme emotions that trigger the flowers. Any emotion can trigger it as for as long as the child stays in that damaging frame of mind. Which is why when Hayato thinks Tsuna is sending him away he immediately overreacts and the flowers grow or in the TYL arc he starts feeling the bonds of friendship with Yamamoto Takeshi but since it's mixed up with the negative emotions from their defeat by Gamma and Takeshi's lecture he coughs up a flower anyways. 
> 
> Shamal is correct in that there is no cure, but there are treatments that are offered if the disease is caught early. Hayato is the only surviving child with Hanahaki who had it as a very young kid. Older children (12-15) if caught early enough have a greater chance of survival with therapy and placement in stable, loving environments because the progression of Childhood Hanahaki is slow. Hayato had it since 6, only started coughing up petals at 8 when he's had enough and runs away and starts coughing up flowers in the TYL arc. 
> 
> But given that Hayato is part of the Mafia, doesn't trust adults and has aggressive walls towards strangers therapy isn't an option. 
> 
> I'm really just making this as I go along, so some of this might change but if anyone has questions feel free to ask them!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We deal with the fallout of Hayato's episode. And a picnic!

Hayato wakes up to many pairs of eyes staring down at him and immediately pulls the covers over his head.  
  
"Oh no you don't," Bianchi says, yanking the sheet off his face, ignoring his hiss at the bright light. "You owe us an explanation, Hayato."  
  
Damn. Hayato finds himself propped up on pillows, a glass of water with a straw in hand and the attention of most of what he considers Tsuna's Family. Even Lambo and I-pin are there, sitting quietly on Kyouko and Haru's laps. In fact the only people missing were Mukuro (good riddance), but Chrome will probably fill him in and-  
  
An ominous aura fills the air just before the door slams open, revealing Hibari.  
  
Think of the devil. Amusement quickly turns to panic as Hibari turns to him, focusing on the the IV in his arm and back to Hayato.  
  
"It was an accident this time! I'm fine now!" Hayato blurts out as Hibari approaches, fingers twitching like he wanted to bite everyone in the room with his tonfas.  
  
"Wait, Hibari knows?" Tsuna looks between Hibari and Hayato. "When- HOW does he know before us?"  
  
"Explain," Hibari's voice cuts through the chatter. He has his Flames licking just below his skin, ready to unleash the minute he hears something he doesn't like.  
  
Well crap, Hayato swallows. "I misunderstood something Tenth was saying and overreacted."  
  
"To be fair, I could have said it better," Tsuna offers weakly as Hibari turns the full weight of his stare on the two of them.  
  
"This was never necessary before," Hibari motions to the hospital bed with a pointed look.  
  
Hayato winces and looks away. "Yeah, this is because I maybe ingesteddeadlynightshade while I was throwing up."  
  
"Repeat that."  
  
Right, still mad then. "I ingested some of the deadly nightshade that I coughed up, its a poisonous plant," he adds when he gets blank looks from everyone except Bianchi and Reborn. "Shamal has the antidote, and Lawn-head took care of most of the side effects so I'll be better soon," he hurries to reassure Tsuna, who's starting to pale.  
  
"You aren't moving from that bed for the next two days!" Shamal calls from his desk.  
  
"What? Why not?" Hayato demands, making to get off the bed. He's all but tackled back down as hands push him back into bed. Ryouhei even tucks him in so he can't move, the jerk.  
  
"Sun flames aren't a cure all, you need rest and supervision to make sure all the toxin is out of your body. So no running off," Shamal says, turning around in his chair to give Hayato an unimpressed look. "If I find you're ignoring my instructions I'll have your boy toy here sit on you." Shamal ignores the glare Hibari shoots him and turns back to his paperwork.  
  
"Hibari-san and Gokudera? Wait, so you weren't confessing to Tsuna-sama?" Haru demands, looking between Hibari and Hayato with wide eyes.  
  
"Why does everyone think I like the Tenth!" Hayato bursts out as Tsuna shakes his head no wildly, both their faces bright red. This was the third time, dammit. Hibari looks like he agrees, finally settling down to lean against the wall, away from the crowd but within eyesight of the bed.  
  
"It did look like a confession gone wrong," Ryouhei says, patting Lambo's head as the brat chews on a lollipop. "It was extremely worrying when you started coughing up flowers."  
  
"Gokudera-kun, Shamal explained some of it, but can you tell us what happened?" Tsuna's voice is gentle but there is an undercurrent of steel running through it. He's not getting out of an explanation anytime soon.  
  
Hayato sighs and takes a fortifying sip of water. This is going to take a while.  
  
"It started when I was around six, I think."  
  
Bianchi startles, and only Reborn's hand on hers keeps her in her seat. Hayato throws a grateful look him and resumes his story.  
  
"At first it was just a tickle in my throat," he presses a hand against his throat to demonstrate, "but it came and went so everyone just thought I got sick a lot. It got worse after I ran away from home a few years later. I think I started coughing up petals then."  
  
Hayato keeps his eyes on his cup, "Shamal found me pretty much right after, and then kicked me into learning how to use my Flames to keep the symptoms down. Storm to disintegrate the flowers, and Sun to heal the damage." He raises a hand, the respective flames dancing on the tips of two fingers.  
  
"The flowers react to anything, so keeping them down took practice. Most of the kids who were like me didn't have access to Flames, and well, kids can't really control their emotions well," Hayato laughs self-deprecatingly. No, as a ten, eleven, twelve year old Hayato really didn't know the definition of emotional control. "Then factor in puberty right afterwards I was using Flames to keep the flowers down pretty much once a week."  
  
"But, how come we didn't notice? You haven't been sick all year!" Tsuna tries, looking upset at the obvious conclusion.  
  
"I didn't want you to know." He says simply, silencing them all. Why would he? This is exactly what he wanted to avoid. "Look," he continues, because it looks like someone was going to cry or yell at him, "All it would do is make people worry about something I have a handle on. This is the first time in months that I've had an episode, I'm fine."  
  
He smiles, trying to look healthy as possible from a hospital bed.  
  
Tsuna looks like he's going to argue, Yamamoto has that dangerous glint in his eyes that shows when he's actually being serious and the rest of the group look ready to put up a fight right behind them when Reborn of all people interferes.  
  
"That's enough," Reborn hops off his seat and onto his bed, turning to face the horde. "Gokudera will recover soon enough and you can yell at him later." Reborn turns to him with a sharp look, "You will listen to everything they have to say if you don't want to undergo my punishments."  
  
Hayato gulps as Reborn, satisfied he has sufficiently scared several months off Hayato's life, heads out the door. The rest of the group follows hesitantly and soon the room is emptied of everyone except Hayato, Tsuna, Hibari and Bianchi.  
  
"Tenth..." Hayato doesn't know what to do. "It really isn't that big of a deal."  
  
"Yes it is!" Tsuna glares at him, hands fisted on his lap. Hayato blinks in confusion as he continues, "You could have died so many times! How are we supposed to help you if you keep hiding things like this from us?"  
  
This again, he isn't dying!  
  
"Hayato." His words shrivel up as Bianchi gets up to take a seat next to him.  
  
"You are being obstinate," Hayato scowls furiously, but a harsh squeeze to his hand keeps him quiet. "If I was sick would you want me to hide it?" He looks away as Bianchi sighs. "Alright then, if I was compromised in a way that puts the Family in danger would you want me to hide it?"  
  
"Bianchi, that's not-!" Tsuna cries out as Hayato shouts, "I'm not compromised!"  
  
"You are," Bianchi cuts both of them off with steely look. She's angry, Hayato realizes too late and he can't help but bristle up at the accusation she throws in his face.  
  
"I'm taking care of the problem," he says, will continue saying because this is his problem so why is everyone trying to get in his business?  
  
"You're not, otherwise you wouldn't be here. What would have happened if we hadn't gotten you to Shamal in time? You say you have everything under control but this," a wave at the bed and IV,  "proves you don't," Bianchi says, each word designed to get under his skin. Worst thing is that it works, and he finds himself doubting for the first time since he woke up.  
  
"Gokudera-kun," Hayato meets Tsuna's orange tinted eyes. "I know I rely on you and Yamamoto and everyone a lot, do you think it makes me weak?"  
  
What? "No!" Hayato denies vehemently. Just because Tsuna is crap at schoolwork and clumsy doesn't mean he's worthless.  
  
"Then trust me when I say that none of us would have thought badly of you if you had to admit you needed help. It's only when you try to hide it that you make me think you don't trust me," Tsuna finishes quietly. Hayato stares at him, absolutely gutted as Tsuna stares him down.  
  
"...I'm sorry for worrying you, Tenth," Hayato says, head bowed.  
  
"No you're not. Not for what I want you to be sorry for anyways," Tsuna sighs and gets up. Hayato wants to reach out, to keep him there and apologize until he gets it right, just as long as Tsuna doesn't leave.  
  
"That's not ok, Gokudera-kun. How can I trust that if I ask you if you're ok that you'll tell me the truth?" Tsuna presses forward and grabs his other hand. "You're supposed to be my right hand, that means you need to trust the rest of us to watch your back while you watch all of ours."  
  
Hayato looks away from Tsuna's burning gaze, shame filling him. "I just-" didn't want to worry anyone (didn't want to show weakness). He can't say anything though, can't get the words out, can't find the words to make this right. Tsuna just nods and gently puts his hand down.  
  
"I know. I don't expect you to change immediately, that would be rather hypocritical of me, won't it?" Tsuna's laugh has a self-deprecating edge to it. "But if you just try to trust us a little bit more, I think that will make me very happy." His piece said, Tsuna turns and leaves.  
  
Something unfurls in his chest and he slams it down with his Flames, furious at himself and his stupid disease for ruining everything. Bianchi looks like she wants to say something but closes her mouth and pats his shoulder once before following Tsuna, closing the door behind her with a near silent click.  
  
"You going to yell, too?" Hayato asks Hibari, finally breaking the silence in the room. Hibari stares at him and Hayato fights to meet his gaze with red and damp eyes. "Go ahead, it's not like you're the only one who's going to get a free shot."  
  
He looks down as Hibari moves off the wall in one sleek movement. There's a hand on his chin in the next second, lifting it up so they were face to face.  
  
"In a herd the sick and weak are driven away to prevent them from risking the group," Hibari says. He tightens his grip on his chin when Hayato tries to look away.  
  
He isn't weak, he wants to snarl but Bianchi's words echo in his mind and he's uncomfortably aware of how often he uses his flames to burn away the flowers. He's not weak, but he is sick. And in his world the sick and weak are so, so easy to discard.  
  
"You know, I'm really getting sick of your animal analogies. We're not a damn herd," Hayato hisses out.  
  
"No," Hibari agrees, meeting Hayato's eyes furious glare with his usual even look.

"You are a pack." Hayato breath catches and Hibari's lips curl into a half smile,  satisfied in making his point. "Pack takes care of each other. Stop thinking like a herbivore Gokudera Hayato, and like the beta of your pack."  
  
His chin is let go in favor of his hair, long fingers petting the strands into place around his face and Hayato gives in, slumping down to rest his head on his knees. He feels the bed dip as Hibari sits down and continues to run his fingers through his hair, playing with the ends occasionally as Hayato's shoulders shake. Hayato is starting to think its a new fixation.  
  
Not that he's opposed, it feels nice.  
  
"Your analogies still suck," Hayato says, voice thick and nasally. The hand leaves his hair to knock on his head with one sharp rap as Hibari pulls away, quiet footsteps heading to the door.  
  
Herds and packs. Where exactly does Hibari fit into that? Hayato wonders.  
  
"Hibari," Hayato lifts his head, eyes firmly planted on the poster on the wall across from him. He hears more than sees Hibari stop, his back to Hayato which gives him the courage to say the word.  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"For pointing out the obvious?" Hibari says and Hayato grits his teeth. Why did he like this asshole again? There's a soft huff of laughter and Hibari's gone, his jacket fluttering out behind him.  
  
Still a jerk, Hayato thinks, settling down to sleep, a small smile tucked away into the sheets.

-

He's given one day of rest before the herd, sorry, 'pack', steals him away with Shamal's blessing. They take it in turns to lecture him, from Haru and Kyouko asking him to take better care of himself, to Yamamoto and Ryouhei backing up their words with physical violence if needed.  
  
Lambo and I-pin cry on command, which is horrifying. Moreso because he thinks Fuuta is the one behind that whole show, and got permission from Tsuna to do it.  
  
His boss is becoming more devious and clever by the day. He would feel proud if it isn't currently being used against him.  
  
"It's not like I don't understand," Kyouko says over a plate of cake. Beside her Haru demolishes her second piece while Hayato stares queasily at the confections. "When we all were in that future and no one was telling us what was going on I tried to put on a strong front too. But all it really did was make me resentful of everyone involved, even when it wasn't their fault, not really."  
  
"You were Tsuna's friends, it was his decision whether to get you involved or not. Besides, the Mafia isn't a game. Once you're in it's almost impossible to get out," Hayato says, unapologetic. It's rare that so many civilians are involved with a Mafia heir. Looking back Hayato doesn't know if Reborn planned on having the Tenth Vongola generation mirror the First or of he got really lucky.  
  
Knowing him, both. It is probably the reason no one is putting up a fuss over  
foreign civilian nobodies inheriting the strongest Mafia family.  
  
Haru looks ready to fight him and honestly? He kind of wants her too. It is better than having every smile or scowl scrutinized by everyone to see if he starts coughing.  
  
"It's our lives too! We were already involved, keeping us out is dangerous and stupid," Haru declares, stabbing at Hayato with her fork. Awesome, one fight coming up-  
  
"What I'm trying to say," Kyouko cuts in with a smile and just like that the fight goes out of both of them. Scary woman. "You all tried to keep us from worrying but not knowing what was going on, it just made us worry more. And it hurt that you all didn't think we wouldn't understand why you were training so hard," she says, and Hayato flinches as she unconsciously mirror's Tsuna's words to him two days ago.  
  
"I'll think about it," he mumbles. Kyouko smiles sadly for some reason and Haru pouts at him before finishing their cake.  
   
At school everything is normal. Tsuna smiles and welcomes him back, Yamamoto is unnecessarily cheerful and from the classroom he can hear Ryouhei scream about Extreme training as he runs to class.  
  
They head to the roof for lunch when Yamamoto asks Tsuna to go ahead, leaving Hayato and Yamamoto alone in the empty stairwell. Great.  
  
"Do you remember when we first fought Gamma?" The question is asked idly, Yamamoto leaning back against the railing while Hayato rests his arms over it, looking down the stairs at nothing.  
  
Yes. "We got beat up like idiots," Hayato says, ignoring the way Yamamoto's shoulders shudder with laughter at the answer.  
  
"And that fight we had during it?" Yamamoto's eyes sharpen as he looks at Hayato from the corner of his eye.  
  
Hayato makes a noncommittal sound that is taken as confirmation.  
  
"That still applies. You might not have wanted us to worry about you but keeping it to yourself, not letting anyone help share the burden. It just hurts us."  
  
Hayato buries his head deeper into his arms. He already got this lecture from the girls. When he tells Yamamoto so he gets a hand ruffling his hair just a shade too hard. He yelps and tries to pry off Yamamoto, who slips an arm around his neck and grounds his knuckles into his head.  
  
"Then listen to us when we tell you things, yeah?" Yamamoto says into his ear, finally letting go.  
  
Hayato huffs and tries to get his hair flat, ignoring how Yamamoto grins at him, teeth showing but shoulders relaxed and open. One more person done lecturing at him.  
  
Ryouhei doesn't bother with subtlety and drags him away at the end of the school day. Hayato squawks with indignation, dynamite ready to stuff down Ryouhei's shirt when he's lifted over the boxer's shoulders and carried off like a sack of potatoes.  
  
"I will kill you, Lawn Head!" Hayato huffs out as Ryouhei's shoulder digs into his stomach with every step.  
  
"Normally you would be Extremely correct! But Reborn would be EXTREMELY happy to give you a penalty game so you can't!" Hayato can feel the sunny rays coming off of Ryouhei as they jog through the school, stopping not at the boxing ring like he thought but further away near the vending machines.  
  
He's set down on the bench as Ryouhei rummages through his pockets for change, inserting the coins into the machine and getting two cans in return. He tosses one to Hayato, who catches it and turns to see the label. Strawberry flavor.  
  
Not his favorite but not terrible. The tap pops with a sizzle and Hayato sips at his drink while Ryouhei takes a seat beside him.  
  
"I get it," Ryouhei says suddenly, resting his elbows on his knee, the can dangling close to the ground from one hand. "Not wanting people to worry about you and your decisions," he clarifies when Hayato looks at him in confusion.  
  
"When Kyouko asked me not to fight years ago, I didn't really get it at first. I was protecting others, protecting Kyouko but I forgot that she also worries about me too." Hayato rolls his can between his hands, waiting as Ryouhei take a sip from his juice.  
  
"It's hard," Ryouhei admits, looking down at his hands, taped up for practice later that day. "I tried to stay out of fights, keep it to boxing but when I got the Sun Ring I jumped straight into fighting again. I don't regret it," he's quick to reassure. "Maybe it makes me a bad brother but I don't regret my choices, just that it hurt Kyouko when she found out."  
  
Regretting the hurt you cause. Hayato thinks it over as he chugs his juice. He remembers Tsuna's hurt face, the ice trapped in Yamamoto's eyes and the way his sister hovers over him when he's over the Sawada house. Even Lambo and I-pin treat him gingerly, like he's going to keel over any minute, and Hayato hates the coddling, but hates that he's the reason why their behavior changed in the first place. Keeping it a secret was supposed to keep them from worrying, dammit.  
  
"Sometimes I forget, like with the Shimon family and the stuff that went down with the Arcobaleno," Ryouhei continues, "None of us told the girls anything because it didn't involve them but they knew something was going on. Kyouko didn't make any of my favorite meals for a month when she found out why so many of us were in the hospital," he laughs and scratches his nose. "She made me promise to tell her if I'm going to be in a fight, because she's rather know than keep wondering if I'm fighting every time I'm out of sight."  
  
"All I'm saying is," he turns to pin Hayato with a serious stare, "it's ok if you don't want others to worry about you, but the fact is we're all friends and worrying about each other is what we do and you need to accept that. So try to keep us in the loop, octopus-head."  
  
Ryouhei leaves with one final pat to his shoulder, jogging back to boxing practice, leaving Hayato to think his words over on the bench.

-

He doesn't want to head back to his apartment, and he's surprised to find he doesn't want to go to the Sawada house, either. Not yet at least. Hayato wanders through the school hallways aimlessly until he finds himself in front of the Disciplinary Committee's office, a light shining from underneath the door.  
  
He bites his lip, rolling it between his teeth as he loiters outside, debating on whether or not to go in. When they graduated Nami Middle and entered Nami Highschool, Hibari graduated alongside them, taking over the Disciplinary Committee within minutes of the entrance ceremony. If anyone is still in school at this hour, it would be him. Steeling himself he knocks on the door once before opening it.  
  
Hibari's alone, thank God, sitting at his desk with a pile of paperwork in front of him.  
  
"Hi," Hayato says awkwardly. "Mind if I crash here for a little bit?" Doesn't hurt to be polite. This way he might avoid a tonfa to the face.  
  
Hibari stares at him for a beat before turning back to his work. "Do as you wish."  
  
"Great," Hayato says under his breath, heading towards the black sofa. He stretches out over it, hands pillowing his head as he stares at the ceiling and wonders how this is his life.  
  
It's almost silent in the room interrupted occasionally by the sound of a page turning and Hayato feels his eyes get heavier. He fights sleep for a moment but between one blink and the next he's gone.  
  
When he wakes up he's curled into a ball, huddled underneath a familiar black jacket. Blinking to make sure he isn't dreaming Hayato sits up, looking over the back to the sofa to Hibari, who's finishing what looks like homework at the desk.  
  
The jacket is missing from behind his chair and Hayato looks down at the jacket still covering his front like it could tell him what is going on.  
  
"How come you're being so nice?" Hayato blurts out. He wants to hide immediately after he says that, hating how pathetic it makes him sound, that people being nice to him is a freak occurrence.  
  
To be fair, it is Hibari he's talking about. The only time he's nice is if there are soft and cute animals around. Or I-pin.  
  
The sound of a pen being set down pulls Hayato from his musings on if Hibari would treat the kindergarten kids the same way or if I-pin gets a pass due to her turning into a human bomb.  
  
He jerks back when he looks up because Hibari is suddenly there in front of him.  
  
How can even he move so fast?  
  
"Are you still ill?" Hayato blinks. Hibari stares down at him, unblinking, waiting for an answer.  
  
"I have another appointment with Shamal tomorrow but I'm fine, its just to make sure everything works okay. Why?"  
  
"When you are fully recovered you will be punished-" The tonfas flash ominously in their holders, "for the following infractions: refusing to disclose pertinent health risks, causing a disturbance in a public place and crowding."  
  
Hayato gapes at Hibari, who stares down dispassionately at him. Punishment? For not letting people know- oh that bastard.  
  
"Are you seriously going to beat me up for worrying you?" Hayato demands, kneeling up on the sofa so he wasn't giving himself a crick in the neck staring up at Hibari. "What the hell, it's not like I did it on purpose! Seriously, what's wrong with all of you?" His breathing gets harder and the corner of Hibari's lips are twitching, like he's hiding a laugh. Hayato sees red.  
  
"Laugh it up asshole, you want a fight? Then lets go," he growls, lighting a stick of dynamite. The wick is put out with a swipe of a tonfa as Hibari glares at him, smile gone. And why, exactly is he mad? He's not the one constantly getting ragged on for something that shouldn't mean anything. He didn't come here for more lectures, dammit!  
  
"Just because I like you doesn't mean I'm going to put up with your bullshit. If you want a fight just say so instead of dressing it up with excuses," Hayato snarls at Hibari, who narrows his eyes and for the first time bites back with his words, not his weapons.  
  
"You should take your own advice."  
  
Hayato blinks at vehemence in his tone and takes a closer look at how tightly Hibari is gripping his weapons and the unhappy set of his mouth. He sits back on his knees, Hibari putting his weapons away when he notes Hayato's lack of resistance.  
  
Sasagawa's words, Tsuna, Yamamoto, Kyouko and Bianchi's words, which have been simmering in the back of his mind boil over, mixing with what Hibari just said and turns into something Hayato recognizes.  
  
"So that's why everyone's pissed off? Because I wasn't, what, being honest?"  
  
Hibari looks at him with raised eyebrows, exasperation written over his face. "My opinion of your intelligence is sinking with every word," he informs Hayato.  
  
"Like you have a good opinion on anyone," Hayato scoffs and flinches away when Hibari's hand pinches his ear.  
  
"I don't bother with people who are worthless," Hibari says with a sharp tug before releasing his ear. "Stop acting aloof when you are not fine."  
  
Not fine, not fine. The words echo in his head, pissing him off again.  
  
"I am fine, you asshole," He ignores the look of disbelief shot his way. "Look, whatever you think fine is? I'm not going to be it. I've had Hanahaki for years, I'm never going to be your definition of 'fine'," Hayato sneers. Hibari leans back on his heels, head tilted towards him as if to say go on.  
  
"I burn flowers in my lungs once a week, hell I'm doing it right now! That is what fine feels like to me, because if my lungs are on fire then I can still fucking breathe. Your cousin might have gotten better but that isn't an option for me," there's a faint creak of the door opening but Hayato ignores it, glaring up at Hibari, who's watching him with a serious expression, and the feeling that someone is actually listening to him for once has his throat choking closed with something that isn't a flower. "There isn't a fucking cure, this is it. I am _never going to get any better_. So yeah," he continues, desperately hoping Hibari doesn't comment on his burning eyes, "yeah, when I say that I'm fine, I fucking mean it."  
  
He pants when he's done, taking deep breaths to keep from coughing. He isn't kidding about the flowers, even now something keeps trying to curl its roots into his lungs despite his flames burning it down every time.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us that?" Tsuna asks.  
  
Hayato jumps, looking past Hibari to where Tsuna stands at the doorway, clutching his bag. From the wet shine to his eyes he's been there for a while.  
  
"Tenth! When did you get here?" Hayato rallies desperately, pasting on a wide smile.  
  
Tsuna steps forward, "Stop that! This is exactly what I was talking about before. You never say anything about yourself and expect us to just be okay with you suffering, it's wrong!"  
  
Hayato's smile falls as Tsuna comes closer. "But I'm not-"  
  
"You are! Just because this is normal for you doesn't mean its right. You shouldn't have to deal with being in pain all the time." Tsuna drops his bag as he circles to couch to face Hayato directly. His eyes search Hayato's face for something, he can't tell, before growling in frustration and reaching out with both hands.  
  
Hayato jerks back as Tsuna hugs him hard around his shoulders, digging his chin painfully into Hayato's shoulder. "Fine, I get it. You don't believe us yet, but you will," Tsuna's voice drops to the low register he uses in Dying Will Mode, "We'll just keep reminding you until you do."  
  
Hayato squirms at the promise, uncomfortable with it for some reason but wraps his arms around Tsuna, returning the hug. He looks up at Hibari, who's watching the two of them with a considering look. He gives Hayato a small nod before turning away back to his paperwork.  
  
"After school hours will end soon, be gone by then." Or else, is implied. Hayato rolls his eyes but nods, ushering Tsuna up and out of the room. He folds the jacket, leaving it on the couch before grabbing their bags on the way out.  
  
The walk to the school yard is silent, but not oppressive, the tension that has been building for the past few days finally gone, leeched away like poison from a wound.  
  
As they walk to the gate where Yamamoto's waiting, Hayato bumps Tsuna's shoulder with his own. "So we're ok, then?"  
  
Tsuna laughs, bumping Hayato back like normal, and he smiles. "Yeah, we're good."  
  
Good.

-

"How did you know I was at the clinic in the first place?" Hayato asks, tossing dynamite into the air. He leaps back onto the Storm Disc, needing the extra maneuverability as Hibari dodges the projectiles and rushing towards him.

Hayato flies up and over Hibari's head, shooting with his Flame Arrow at Hibari's legs.

The blow connects, or at least Hayato thinks it does until a steel cable whips out of the smoke to wrap around his leg. "Oh shi-"  
  
A sharp yank pulls him from the Storm Disc to the roof of the high school and he hands with a crash, Lightning flames lighting up to prevent any broken bones. The cable pulls taut and reels him in, dragging him across the roof towards Hibari. Hayato tosses one of his tubes at him, smirking when Hibari smacks it aside.  
  
The tube explodes, the Rain flames covering it delaying the blast to shove Hibari forward, loosening the tension on the cable and letting Hayato free his leg. He rolls to the side and brings the Flame Arrow up, Cloud tube shooting its branched rounds at Hibari, forcing him to back away.  
  
"Cavallone has a big mouth," Hibari says, settling into a ready stance, watching as Hayato keeps the Flame Arrow trained on him.  
  
"Dino called you?" Maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Dino seems like the type to butt his nose in other people's business. Speaking of which, "How come you have his number, didn't you keep trying to beat him up the entire time we were in the future?"  
  
He fires just as Hibari shoots him a disgruntled glare, running for cover as multiple Rolls shoot at him.  
  
Jokes on him though, Hayato thinks, shooting a Rain tube into the air, immobilizing the Rolls. The hedgehogs uncurl from their balls once they are coated in flames, two of them toddling over to Hayato, who picks them up with a smirk. Roll likes getting picked up by Hayato just as much as Uri likes clawing at him, which Hibari hasn't picked up on yet, given the betrayed look he gives his box animal.  
  
"Hedgehogs can learn to be social you know," Hayato calls out, unable to resist the jibe. "Maybe we're rubbing off on you- hey!" He jumps away from the chain and onto the Storm Disc, all three Rolls in his arms, squeaking merrily. He rockets across the roof, Hibari close behind when the door to the roof opens and Tsuna pops his head out.  
  
"Tenth!" Hayato yelps, braking hard to avoid crashing into him. Tsuna lets out a high pitched squeal but is pulled back by Yamamoto, who's right behind him. The two fall backwards while Hayato hovers at the doorway, looking down at them in confusion.  
  
"That was a close one!" Yamamoto beams from underneath Tsuna, who's looking at Hayato like he's insane.  
  
"Are you fighting with Hibari-san?" Tsuna demands in a high pitched voice, looking between Hayato sitting on his Storm Disc and behind him where Hayato can see Hibari hanging back with his tonfa at his sides.  
  
"Sparring," Hayato corrects, juggling the squirming pile of hedgehogs in his lap. One of them crawls underneath his shirt and claws up his undershirt to pop his head out of the collar. Hayato jumps off the Disc and unbuttons his shirt to take Roll out and put him on the Disc with his brothers before turning to help Tsuna up, who's gaping at the pile of Rolls and back at Hibari with a twitching eye. He looks up to catch Yamamoto with his eyebrows raised and snaps, "What are you looking at?"  
  
"Nothing," Yamamoto says, "I didn't know you and Hibari-senpai were such good friends."  
  
Hayato scoffs, looking away as a heavy gaze settles on him. "Whatever. Were you looking for us, Tenth?" He turns to Tsuna with a wide smile.  
  
Tsuna still has a weird look on his face, like he wants to stop seeing something but can't turn away, but nods his head. "Yeah, we're having my birthday party at the old shrine now, since we couldn't last week," Hayato winces at the reminder but Tsuna ignores it continuing, "I was going to invite Hibari-san too, so we came up to the roof since he wasn't in his office..." Tsuna trails off, looking at Hibari with hopeful eyes.  
  
And Hayato can't believe his eyes, but somehow it's working. Hibari stares at Tsuna for a long minute before blinking. "I refuse to join in the crowding."  
  
"That's ok, we're setting up by the old shrine, there's plenty of space!" Tsuna says and perhaps sensing Hibari's patience has reached its limit grabs Hayato's and Yamamoto's hands and drags them away to the stairs.  
  
"That was close!" Tsuna breathes a sigh of relief once they are outside, away from Hibari's wrath.

"Tenth, about the party..." Hayato trails off, he should be the one worrying about the party, not Tsuna.

"Hmm? Oh right!" Tsuna rubs the back of his head. "We really didn't have to do much, Yamamoto found your notes for my birthday and all we did was follow them. Even the fireworks were ok, since you stored them away safely in the shrine. Mom and Kyouko-chan are taking the food up there right now, so we should hurry."

Hayato lets himself be herded to the shrine, extremely flattered that his boss likes his ideas. If only he got to see his face the night of his actual birthday, instead of celebrating it belatedly.

The thoughts bring the tickle in his lungs back into focus, and he frowns and sets his flames to work, ignoring the sharp look Tsuna gives him. The tickle subsides and disappears when they get closer to the shrine, and is replaced by surprise at the large group congregating around the stone steps leading up to the shrine.

Kyouko and Haru are there, large picnic baskets in their hands, along with I-pin, Lambo and Futa. Ryouhei isn't a surprise, neither is Dino and his men, all carrying more picnic baskets or blankets and supplies. What is a surprise is Shamal and Bianchi, and for some really, really weird reason, half the Varia.

"What are they doing here?" Hayato demands, stepping slightly in front of Tsuna. He didn't see Xanxnus, though Squalo is there to squawk about disrespect for people taking their sweet time to show up for their own get well party.

Wait what?

"This is a party for the Tenth's birthday," Hayato says slowly. He turns to Tsuna who scratches his neck with a nervous smile but stares at him with determination. "Right, Tenth?"

"We thought that it would be nice to celebrate you getting better, but we knew you wouldn't want that so we just combined my birthday with it. This is fine, right?" Tsuna asks.

Hayato looks between Tsuna's determined eyes and then behind him, where Ryouhei has gathered Kyouko, Haru, Kurokawa Hana, Lambo, I-pin, Fuuta, and Basil to look at him with wide, sad eyes.

That's cheating, Lawn-head, Hayato thinks but sighs and nods as everyone cheers and starts heading up to the shrine. By the time he makes it up there the party has just started, picnic blankets are laid out on the grass away from the games being set up by Lussuria and Ryouhei. Hayato spots Shamal getting chased away from the food by an irate Haru and walks over.

"Hey," Hayato says, leaning against a tree. Standing a little away from him Shamal raises an eyebrow and lights up a cigarette.

Hayato struggles with the words, starting and stopping until Shamal starts looking annoyed and finally get the words out. "How come you called Hibari my, my-" Hayato flushes, he really can't call Hibari his boy toy (mainly because he thinks Hibari will somehow KNOW and show up to kick his ass).

Shamal snorts, "I don't give love advice, kid. Not for men anyways."

"I'm NOT-" Hayato catches Tsuna watching him worriedly and lowers his voice, "I'm not asking for love advice you bastard, I just want to know why you thought we were together when no one else had clue!" It's been bugging him since he got released from Shamal's care. No one knew about him and Hibari and hell if Reborn didn't know (and he didn't, Tsuna told him that Reborn grilled him on if he knew about him and Hibari) then no one knew.

"Oh, that," Shamal takes a long drag, waiting till he blows all the smoke out to answer him, "He broke into the clinic and demanded all information on your condition, since there wasn't anything useful in the hospital records." Hayato's jaw drops as Shamal shrugs. "I might have hit him with a Trident Mosquito during the fight, so give this to him when you see him," Shamal tosses a small paper bag at him. "Dosage is the same as last time."

"Same time- you hit him with Sakura-kura again?"

"Such worry for your beau, he hit me too, you know?" Shamal rubs the side of his head. "Why couldn't you have seduced a pretty girl instead of a violent boy? I've failed to pass on my teachings," he sighs as Hayato turns more and more red.

"You didn't teach me shit!" He shouts and stomps off towards the picnic. And just when his luck couldn't get worse, Uri decides to hop out of her box and make a beeline to the grill, where Yamamoto is grilling fish.

"Uri! Yamamoto watch out!" Hayato shouts, running after her but its too late. Uri jumps from the ground and off Yamamoto's head, making him toss several sticks of fish into the air. With a twist of her spine on the way down she catches a fish in her mouth mid-air, bounces off Basil's head forehead and makes a run for it, Hayato on her heels.

"Uri!"

Hayato slows to a jog, following the path Uri took with a sigh. What is he going to do with that cat? He reaches the end of the trail and exits into a small clearing where a smaller shrine sits near the back on a raised rock. Hayato spots Uri's tail and follows it to where she crouched, gnawing at her meal.

And across from her, sleeping underneath the shade of a tree is Hibari.

Oh shit, Hayato freezes, one foot in the air as he stares in horror. After years of being conditioned, he knows better than to wake Hibari up from his naps. And Uri is over there purring away over fish.

Crap, crap, crap, Hayato thinks, slowly setting his foot down. When that doesn't elicit a reaction from Hibari he lets out a sigh of relief only yelp as his eyes snap open with a surge of blood lust.

"Oh, its you," he says and the blood lust disappears, taking the oppressive aura with it. Hayato watches in dsibelief as Hibari yawns and shifts to rest on his side, arm pillowing his head. "Don't disrupt my sleep."

Okay then. Hayato slowly makes his way towards Uri, but when he reaches out for her the damn cat scratches him and leaps towards Hibari.

"Uri!" Hayato hisses, even as he lunges for his box animal.

Except he forgot one thing, he realizes mid-jump, catching Uri in his arms.

"Shit!" He tries to twist to avoid falling onto Hibari just as Hibari's eyes open, half-lidded. Strong arms reach up to catch Hayato, guiding his fall so he lands sprawled over Hibari, Uri meowing between them. His Storm Kitten wiggles her way out between them and purrs, headbutting Hibari gently before jumping off to clean herself.

"Dumb cat," Hayato snarls, and tries to go after her but a tonfa rapping against his head painfully gets his attention. "What-?" He closes his mouth with a click,when he realizes he's on his hands and knees above Hibari, who glares up at him, one tonfa out and ready to smack him again.

Hayato curses and tries to get off him. Key word tries. Something small hits him in the middle of his back, sending him down on his elbows. He can hear Roll chitter and Uri's meow loudly and turns his head to the side to see the two of them playing together. He turns away with an eye roll only to come nose to nose with Hibari, who's watching him with a raised eyebrow.

"Umm," Hayato looks back at him, wide eyed, a blush growing as he feels Hibari's breath against his skin. His eyes flicker down to Hibari's lips and he yanks them up before Hibari can notice.

Too late, Hayato thinks, mouth dry as Hibari's face shifts minutely from 'murder' to 'interested' and the world spins as he's flipped onto his back, Hibari straddling his hips and his lips against his.

Hibari kisses like he fights. Domineering, sure, and with absolutely no mercy. There's a hand at the back of his head, clutching his hair and craning his head up like an offering as Hibari deepens the kiss, mouth slanting further over his. Hayato kisses back, heat pooling at his stomach as his hands move, one clutching at Hibari's shoulder and trailing over to the nape of his neck while the other is wedged underneath him to give him leverage.

When he finally pulls back, Hibari's mouth is red and shiny, and Hayato can feel his lips tingle as he pants. Hibari raises an eyebrow, a satisfied smirk on his lips that Hayato wants to bite off.

Well, something like that, he thinks as he pushes Hibari back, following him up as they shift from lying down to reclining against the tree, and pulls him back against his lips.

He doesn't know how long they sit there, kissing. Every time one of them pulls away the other is there pulling them back with trailing kisses along a jaw or hands running along the other's waist. Hibari's hands skims under his shirt as Hayato works at his neck when his stomach growls.

They both freeze and Hayato stares at his stomach in betrayal as Hibari scoffs and untangles himself.

"Lunch was six hours ago!" Hayato says in his defense, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. Hibari rolls his eyes and lays down, arms tucked behind his head, the order not to bother him left unsaid as he closes his eyes.

"Jerk," Hayato says, brushing off his clothes before heading back to where the party is in full swing.

Someone had hung plastic lanterns from the trees, lighting up the area with a warm glow. He gets a plate of food from where Haru is manning the table with Chrome, both of whom turn red and giggle at him. A smiling Kyouko sidles up to him, motioning discretely to his neck and hands him a bandanna. A look at his reflection in her hand mirrors shows that yes, there are red marks running up his neck. Dammit, Hibari!

"Thanks," he mutters, tying the bandanna around his neck like a kerchief. Kyouko just giggles as he stalks off to find Tsuna, the tips of his ears flaming red.

He wanders around, passing Lambo playing some game with hoops and a stick. Well, more like I-pin is trying to catch Lambo to make him play properly, with Yamamoto cheering them on in the background. Ryouhei is talking with Lussuria and Hayato veers away from where Belphagor is standing next to Mammon, chatting away while avoiding the Mist users barbs and threats of financial ruin.

He finally catches a glimpse of Tsuna standing under the roof of the shrine, talking quietly with Xanxus. Hayato makes an aborted move to rush over there but Xanxus seems to be ignoring Tsuna while Tsuna talks calmly, no sign of panic or fear in his body language.

Well, he supposes he doesn't have to keep watch, Hayato thinks, spotting Mukuro and Chrome nearby, him with one eye on Tsuna while Chrome and Fran talk to  Squalo.

That taken care of, he heads back to the food table, looking at the various snacks and food everyone brought with consideration.

"Are you going to make a plate for Kyouya?" Hayato jumps when Dino slides next him, an empty plate in hand.

"No!" Hayato denies with a hot blush. "I was getting more for myself!"

Dino gives the full plate in Hayato's hands a disbelieving look and Hayato strangles the urge to shove it in Dino's smug, knowing face. "Shut up," he mumbles, grabbing a new plate. He looks at the offered food, ignoring Dino's shaking shoulders. What did Hibari like to eat?

"Hamburger steak, and the dango."

Hayato looks up at Kusakabe in surprise. The older boy just smiles, still in his Disciplinary uniform and a plate full of food in his hands. How many people showed up for this? He could even see the Shimon family over by the games.

"Those are what Kyou-san would eat," Kusakabe says with a smile, holding the plate out to Hayato. "Would you make sure he gets it?"

"What am I, his mother?" Hayato snarls, taking the food anyway as he ignores the knowing look Dino shoots him.

"Now, now," Dino says, holding one hand up as Kusakabe hides a smirk behind his hand. "There's nothing wrong with spoiling your boyfriend, Gokudera."

"I'm not his boyfriend," Hayato says lowly as the two older men look at him disbelievingly. "We didn't really talk about it."

"Huh," Dino says, drawing the sound out and Hayato bristles.

"Talking isn't really Kyou-san's preferred method of communications," Kusakabe intervenes again and Hayato can see why Hibari trusts him as his second in command. "Actions are clearer to him, though it might be difficult for us to understand without practice."

"Tell me about it, I'm still sore from the fight earlier," Hayato says, the bruises under his shirt aching in echo of his words.

"He fights you? And you aren't dead?" Dino looks at him speculatively and Hayato frowns. Yeah, he knows Hibari can beat the crap out of him with one hand tied behind his back, but that's why they use handicaps. Its more equal that way. When he says that though, both of them look at him in surprise.

"Really? Kyou-san sure had changed since meeting with you all," Kusakabe says, a far away look on his face as Dino sputters about how his cute student never takes it easy on him.

"Right," Hayato says, feeling a little awkward. Hibari didn't really seem to change that much? But he supposes Kusakabe has a wider frame of reference than him. And Dino deserves whatever beat down he gets from Hibari. Probably. "I'm just gonna...go then," he says, walking away to the trails, a plate of food in each hand. No one stops him as he ducks beyond the tree line, following the path back the the clearing where Hibari is still asleep.

Hayato sighs from a safe distance away, setting the food down where he can see the glow of Uri's flames, the Storm kitten sleeping away on Hibari's chest. Hayto glares, just a little jealous that his box animal likes Hibari better.

"Tch," he tsks softly, looking around the clearing. The sun's already set, and its dark, much darker than he thought before, standing at the shrine with all the lights.

That gives him an idea and so leaving the food on the raised stone near the small shrine he jogs back to the picnic and swipes a spare blanket and two unlit lanterns.

The food is still there when he gets back to Hibari's clearing and he lights the lanterns with his lighter. The light or maybe the smell of food wakes Hibari up because his eyes are open when Hayato approaches with the lantern, hanging it on a low hanging branch, the other one set next to Hibari.

"What's this?" Hibari says, watching Hayato snap open the blanket.

"It's a picnic, haven't you been to one before?" Hayato snaps, motioning for Hibari to move.

Grey eyes narrow, shifting between the food, Hayato and the blanket in his hands before Hibari gets up, brushing off his pants as Hayato spreads the blanket over the spot he just vacated. And he doesn't even bother to help, Hayato grumbles to himself as he finishes pulling the edges of the blanket straight and sets the lantern on one end. The blanket set, he turns to the food, barely saving it from Uri, and hands one plate over to Hibari, who's already sitting on the blanket, leaning back against the tree.

They sit in silence, Hayato fidgeting as they eat their food, Hayato sharing his with Uri when the cat prowls forward and starts begging for scraps.

"Box animals can eat?" Hibari asks, watching Uri devour one of Yamamoto's grilled fish in fascination.

Hayato shrugs, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Yeah. I don't know why, the Fuuta from the future said that box animals don't need food but Uri seems to like it." He shrugs at Hibari's look. "It hasn't hurt her, so what's the harm?"

Hibari stays silent but reaches into his jacket, pulling out his own box. A quick insert of his ring and Roll pops out, taking a look around before zeroing in on Hayato and flying over, making happy snuffling sounds.

"Hello," Hayato says, offering out a piece of carrot. Roll sniffs the vegetable but ignores it, settling on Hayato's lap with a cheerful gurgle. He smiles, petting the hedgehog as Uri finishes eating and pads over to investigate. Uri sniffs at Roll before jumping into Hayato's lap too, knocking Roll out of his lap and onto the middle of the blanket, pinning him in place before starting to groom him.

Hayato leans back on his hands and considers the two box animals, the words of the Hibari from the future echoing in his mind again.

Box animals mirror their owners, he remembers Hibari, the older one, telling him once, as Uri pushes Roll around, the hedgehog allowing her to move him even placidly rolling onto his back so she can clean him thoroughly. Hayato catches Hibari watching their box animals play together with a soft look in his eye and gathers his courage.   

"Why do you even like me?" Hayato asks, looking Hibari in the eye. Silence reigns and the clearing is tense as Hayato fidgets and Hibari pauses, giving him a look  before returning to the remains of his meal. Just when Hayato thinks screw it and ask again Hibari starts talking.

"Storms die." Well that is enlightening. Not. Hayato glares at Hibari, who stares out over his shoulder at the trees surrounding them.

"They rise and form and ultimately loose power and are snuffed out," Hibari shifts his eyes to Hayato. "You don't. You rage and storm but at the end when you weaken you don't die, just get up and storm even harder."

Translating the Hibari-speak takes a few seconds as Hayato absorbs what he is saying.

"So you like me because I'm hard to kill?" Hayato tries, and gets an annoyed twist of Hibari's lip at him. "What? You can be a little clearer instead of talking in metaphors."

There is a small smirk on Hibari's face, one that tells Hayato that he thinks that metaphors are the best method of communication, and that he enjoys annoying Hayato.

"You are interesting," Hibari says, a hungry look in his eye. "Strong and still growing stronger. You will be magnificent when you are fully grown." The look in his eye makes Hayato shiver, and Hibari tracks that, eyes flicking over his body in approval.  

And that's it? Hayato thinks, feeling maybe just a little disappointed. He isn't sure what he expects to hear, Hibari likes him because  of his winning personality? But he expects ~~hopes for~~ something a little more than the equivalent of 'you fight good'.

If that's all, then what's separating him from Ryouei or any of the other fighters in Nanimori? He gets caught up in his thoughts that he misses the hand reaching out to touch his chin.

Hayato jerks back from Hibari, who has crawled forward on his hands and knees in front of Hayato. Hibari frowns and reaches out again, slower, letting his fingers gently rest against his jaw, stroking the skin there slightly. "You stay loyal to the small animal, even if it gets you hurt. Despite that you still fight till you die and then you get up to fight again. You find your weaknesses and eliminate them by changing or adapting."

Hayato thinks this is the longest Hibari's ever talked to him outside of a spar, and leans into the touch slightly. He's rewarded by the widening of Hibari's pupils, and the hand shifts to fully cup his face. "You are always changing, always something new or different," Hibari says, softer, pulling Hayato closer, the hunger in his eyes more pronounced, spreading to the sharpness of his smile, teeth tucked away but still there, ready to cut Hayato to ribbons to see what he's made of.

Hayato swallows, going along. Alright, he thinks, as their lips meet again and sparks fly up his spine.

Alright, he can live with that as a reason.

Hibari grabs him by the shirt and pulls backwards, Hayato sprawling over his lap as the kiss quickly moves from slow and sweet to something that has Hayato clinging to Hibari's shirt even as he pushes the older teen down on the blankets. Hayato moves his lips over Hibari's shivering as the other boy grabs the back of his neck, keeping him in place as the other goes under his shirt, splaying over the skin of his back.

He shivers at the light touch, barely feeling it through the scar tissue on his back, though Hibari does hum appreciatively and run his fingers over each one he can reach.

Something itches at the back of his head, breaking through the cloud of lust and pleasure he's been reduced to and Hayato looks up, instinct or just the feeling of being watched to see Dino's sky Pegasus trotting up through the clearing.

"What the hell?" He says, puling away from Hibari, ignoring the grumble that gets him. Hibari lets him up but keeps his hands on his hips as Belphagor's mink sneaks up to them, growling at Hayato before circling into a ball by Hibari's head.

"Seriously? Are you box animal catnip or something?" Hayato asks as slowly every single box animal present makes their way to the clearing.

He can see Alfin diving through the trees, careful not to go over the tops. Bester prowls forward, Natsu running under his paws with Jirou. Kojirou flies a quick circle around the tree they are under before settling on a branch, while Lussuria's Kuu and Kangaryuu walk behind Gyuudon and Dino's turtle. He can see Mukurowl and Levi's Liviya make their way through the dark, lighting up the clearing temporarily before they too settle near by or at a respectful distance from Hibari. There is quick scuffle as Alo bursts through the trees, wood shavings falling down around them but Alfin is quick to block him, pushing him down to rest with the other animals.

"This is weird, tell me you find this weird too?" Hayato asks Bester walks straight up to them and flops down, Natsu taking the opportunity to curl up between his paws. Hayato looks down at Hibari, who's smiling as Hibard flies down and perches on the lantern they managed to keep from knocking over. Not that they need the light anymore, Hayato thinks, the box animals lighting up the clearing with multi-color flames.

"Oh, hey! So here's where you two went!"

Hayato scrambles off Hibari's lap, only to be yanked back by the grip on his hips. He lands on his side next to Hibari as Yamamoto steps into the clearing, holding a lit sparkler in one hand.

"Hey guys, they're over here!" He calls back into the woods, probably to where the rest of their group is waiting. "We've got the fireworks ready to go, wouldn't want you to miss it," he continues brightly as they sit up, Hayato's face completely red while Hibari focuses a gimlet stare to the entrance of the clearing as people start filing in. Luckily, most of them stay away from where the box animals form a little buffer between Hibari and the rest of the clearing, which helps calm the tension in Hibari's frame as the last of the stragglers show up.

Though everyone does make a point to smirk or look knowingly at where Hayato is sitting practically flushed to Hibari's side, to which Hayato very calmly uses a rude gesture in return, getting a laugh from Dino, the bastard, who has the audacity to wink at him.

"Ok, they're starting!" Haru shouts, running into the clearing. She takes a seat next to Kyouko as muted explosions ring out, and the first of several rockets fly into the sky, leaving a faint trail of smoke.

As the first of the fireworks light the sky with color Hayato turns to Hibari.

"So does this mean we're dating?"

Hibari rolls his eyes and yanks Hayato forward for a quick kiss when no one is looking.

"Yes."

Hayato looks back at the sky, a wide grin on his face as Hibari lays back on the blanket, one hand interlaced with his as they watch the fireworks, surrounded by friends and family.

-

When Hayato goes home that night, happier than he has ever been he coughs up pink and white cosmos, along with a single red rose.  
These flowers he keeps, washing and carefully drying them with his flames, he'll pick up some resin the next day to preserve them.  
He doesn't look up the meanings of the flowers, already know them and thinks for once maybe he's doing better than fine.  
  
[Cosmos: Harmony, Peace, The Joys that Love and Life can bring]  
[Red Rose: Love]


End file.
